Unspoken...

I woke up Wednesday morning, just like I do every Wednesday morning and proceeded to go thru my morning ritual to get ready for work. I check on my girls after my shower, finish getting dressed, lay out their clothes, fix their lunches and just before I head out the door, little Miss cries and I know she's awake.

I look at the clock and think, I really need to leave to stay on schedule, but instead I sigh and head back down the hall, pick her up, change her diaper and dress her for the day. I kiss her on the head a few minutes later, only slightly behind my self imposed schedule and head off for another day at work...just another usual day at work.

It was anything but a usual day.

From my first glance at my reader, I noticed a theme among the words staring back at me. Each combination more somber than the previous, each word trying so desperately to convey that sense of support but knowing that words would not do justice to the situation it was surrounding. Today, a member of our community lost her daughter and the pain flooded our lives like a piece of Maddie had been ripped from each of us. I read the words, each.and.every.story that flashed that beautiful little girls smile and zest for life, and the more I read the more my heart broke, the more my eyes flooded and the harder it became to breath. So I stopped. I stopped reading, I stopped looking, I just stopped because the more I saw the more I hurt for the mother who no longer had her baby to hold, to kiss, to tell how much she loved her.

In the short span of this day, I went from frustrated I was running late to wanting only to hug my children and say thank you for that extra moment I had with them. As a mother, I could not imagine what Heather is going thru, but I know that I would not wish that on anyone. In the short span of today, I suddenly felt very small for wishing I didn't have to deal with some of my 'mom' duties. In the short span of today, I got a swift reminder just how short and unpredictable life can be and how much there is to not take forgranted.

My heart goes out to the Spohr family.


***In lieu of flower the family asks that you make a donation in Madeline's honor to the March of Dimes.

Not Me Monday

I thought I'd try a little something different today....

I've been reading A Thorn Among Roses for over a year now and she has a wonderful Monday Tradition that just makes me smile - It's called Not Me Monday and since I've been gone for what feels like forever...perhaps a little catching up is in order!

I DID NOT spend some much needed time outdoors with the girls just enjoying the warm air and sunshine.

I DID NOT leave the hubs to clean the house while I took DQ shopping for a new bathing suit.

I DID NOT have over 800 unread blogs in my reader and definitely did not hit 'mark all as read' (sorry too all my regular reads out there).

I DID NOT threaten to give away the newest member of my family after she chewed up my flip flops and phone charger. (yes, we got a puppy)

I DID NOT try out an amazing recipe for chipotle pork chops - that turned out delicious - and managed to pull it off all from memory!

I most definitely DID NOT dunk my late night dessert of oreo's in the jar of strawberry ice cream topping because I was craving strawberry's and chocolate.

AND....

I totally DID NOT enjoy every.single.solitary. minute of time spent with my family realizing just how blessed I am.

Thankful For...

Sometimes life deals some crappy hands - you know, the kind that make you want to quit playing poker because you know you can't bluff your way thru.

Sometimes life gives you a bowl full of lemons - and no where near enough tequila to make it interesting.

But sometimes, just sometimes, the sun comes out and warms you with its rays. The clouds part, the birds sing and you can see beauty in the small things around you.

Sometimes, not matter what else is going on - good, bad or indifferent - nothing can ruin your good mood.

Today is that day.

My heart is full, my world is right and if I could give some to everyone who needed it...I would not run short. It's an amazing feeling that I'd forgotten it ever existed.

Over at Dysfunctional Mommy - she does a Thankful Thursday - that always makes me smile and remember to count my blessings (no matter how small) and even though it is only Tuesday - I feel the need to be thankful for all that is today.

• I'm thankful for the unconditional love the hub always amazes me with.
• I'm thankful for the ability to get up each morning and go to work, not everyone has that anymore.
• I'm thankful for the chance to hug my children each morning and each night and tell them just how much they mean to me.
• I'm thankful for friends who are there to eat wings and drink beer with when its been a week from hell.
• I'm thankful for the chance to witness humanity in its most amazing form each time I see this community pull together for one of its own.
• I'm thankful to be here when there were times I couldn't see past the moment.

What are YOU Thankful for?