Putting the I in...

It's been said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  I don't like to believe there is truth in that statement, however there are days when I question what I believe...today is one of those days.

I, by default, tend to put the "I" in b*tch...especially when I am not comfortable in my environment.  That is not to say that I am typically the big B....however I am closed off and outwardly overly professional until I become "comfortable" in my surroundings.  Let me preface this thought with one thing - I use the term b*tch based on my own personal definition:  "One who is emotionally withdrawn, directly speaks their mind and is no nonsense about the direction they intend to proceed."

Remember, this is my inital projection and "first impressions are lasting impressions."  I prefer to understand the expected outcome - all facets of the current way of doing business and then determine what (if any) changes should be made.  Over time, once I am comfortable in how processes work, then I soften and can bend the rules where applicable.  Part of this is based on the trust that is built through working relationships, understanding political agendas and identification of where the "land mines" are hidden.

While this attitude tends to work well in the mail dominated world I spend the bulk of my time, this also happens to spill over into my personal world, which is less suited for the harshness it brings.  It takes longer to build "friendships" and when they are broken, often it is unrepairable.  I am not saying they are severed, but they are rarely, if ever, the same and often respected from a distance.  I will say that I do not recommend  this approach in a personal life - however due to my own past experiences, I am a little unorthadox.

There are only a few times, when I look at the path - this path - that I am traveling down and actually take the time to stop and look back at the friendships, the relationships that I have walked away from and let my heart ache for the loss.  Today, is one of those days for me...I miss my friend.  I miss the bond I thought we shared and even though I might be able to change the outcome of this situation, I've learned that if someone doesn't appreciate you today - they will not appreciate you any more or less tomorrow.

So for now, I hold on to the good memories and trudge past the bad down this road towards my tomorrow. Why?  Because I know there are people who deserve what I have to give and will appreciate me for what I am.

The view from here is: Overcast with a chance of hopefulness.

Wanting to be Needed

Most of the time around here I talk about communication - talking about what we want, saying what we need, telling others that they matter, praising someone for their actions, but I fail to ever mention (and maybe because I tend to forget it exists) the many unspoken aspects of life that are just as important in a balanced work/life relationship.

The last few months have been a bit quiet around here because I agreed to move my home and my family 1000 miles away.  It was a rather quick decision without much preplanning, but when an opportunity arises, I believe we either seize the day or let it pass us by, but that is a story for a different day.  As I just mentioned, this move was unplanned and ill prepared for, but we decided to go and thus began the process of getting ready, which is very hard to do when one person leaves months ahead of the rest of the family. 

I have always prided myself on being self sufficent.  I can do many things and those which I know I cannot, well, I can hire assistance.  I am not so blind as to think I can do it ALL however, I am an idiot enough to think I can do most of it by myself.  Sadly, I cannot and I needed more help than I ever realized ... in the end I think I learned as much about me in this process as I did about normal human nature.

I give a lot, I also ask a lot in return.  I have high expectations and a determined personality.  I like to be needed by other people, I like to be wanted for a skill that I can provide and I like to support those around me as they attempt to reach their goals & dreams.  I like to give praise for a "job well done," and I like to show my appreciation for others.  I don't like big, showy, "spot light" presentations, lots of fan fare or excess attention drawn to myself, an acknowledgement is enough for me.   But in my need for 'being needed' I lost sight of the fact that other people like and want to be needed too. 

During this move, I had friends who've I've known many years - those which I've dropped things in a moments notice to help - cowar behind "other obligations" and become recluse.  The people I thought I could count on without a doubt were no where to be found in my times of need.  Then there were people who I've known only a short time who came out of the wood work to help me when I they noticed I was stressed and didn't have to say "I need help."  What is important, is that I DID need their help, I was failing under the tremendous pressure of doing it alone but didn't feel like I could ask these people for help because the ones I did ask for help had turned me down.  These people who helped, saw a need and answered my unspoken request.  They kept tabs on me and they supported me from start to finish...anytime things would get to tough they were there to make sure I had whatever support  I needed to get to the next step.  Without them, this move wouldn't have been possible.

The view from here is: Sunny with a chance of Optimism

Motivation

I've struggled a lot lately with the idea of "loving" what you do, of "living" for what you do.  For me, my work is both, I love what I do and what I do drives me to push farther every day.  My work is my passion...seeing something grow, change, morph - become better than it was before is what I live for.

I will admit that there have been certain times in my career where I have felt less than appreciated and there are moments when I am faced with the harsh reality that I am as replacable as the next person.  This is only a J.O.B after all, but doing what I do makes me satisified overall.  Perhaps that is why I've struggled with the idea that the people I work with do not enjoy their jobs in quite the same way. 

Don't mistake my previous statement - I don't think everyone has to be thrilled all the time, however there attituded are almost apathetic in nature.  They are here - 5 days a week collecting a paycheck.  What we do and the quality of service that we do our job is of little concern to them and that bothers me.  So how do I change that?  Well for starters, I cannot do it alone...

A review of the research literature by James R. Lindner at Ohio State University concluded that employee motivation was driven more by factors such as interesting work than financial compensation. John Baldoni, author of Great Motivation Secrets of Great Leaders, concluded that motivation comes from wanting to do something of one's own free will, and that motivation is simply leadership behavior--wanting to do what is right for people and the organization

If I stop and look around at the climate I am currently in then I will notice these are sorely lacking in the work environment today.  I think the biggest factor is that there is no leadership example to follow, in fact they are about as transparent as you can get.   Daniel Pink, author of A Whole New Mind, says that true motivation boils down to three elements: Autonomy, the desire to direct our own lives; mastery, the desire to continually improve at something that matters to us, and purpose, the desire to do things in service of something larger than ourselves.

So what does all this tell us....motivation is a complex thing (as if we didn't already know that) that requires more than gobs of money.  For me and my situation today - perhaps it is time to have a little chat with the boys and put them in the drivers seat towards their own motivation.

Follow your desire

How can you know where you're going if you don't know where you've been?

When looking for a new job or attempting to justify the raise you believe you deserve or simply doing an annual performance review, there are certain things that must happen in order to make these things successful.  I'm referring to the fact that with any of the items above, documentation of what you have been doing is needed.  

Sometimes that is the easy part, sometimes its the hard part.  In any job that we do, certain expectations are placed on us - we will complete certain tasks and we will get paid to do a job for 40 hours a week.  We will be rated on our performance and we will compete with our peers for raises, promotions and bonuses.  How well we do in our positions is completely up to us.  If we follow only the black and white and nothing beyond that, then we meet minimum requirements.  If we color outside the lines in how we approach our job, we risk doing the wrong things.  The beauty in coloring outside the lines is that sometimes it is purely magical and we create more than our bosses could have ever imagined.

So where am I going with all this....I'd like to say a job should be fun - it shouldn't be "work."  Reality is, in many cases, it is just WORK...just where we go for 8 hours a day and there is no passion for what we do.  I've heard many people talk about their job in such a disgruntled way.  They are in a rut.  They want more money.  They have too much to do.  They feel under appreciated.  I could go on, but in the end it comes down to what do THEY want out of it?  Do they even know?

Some people can tell you exactly what they want, but most cannot, which is the reason why they are unhappy.  One thing I've learned throughout  my journey is that without knowing what you want, you will always have unfulfilled desires.  It's easy to get stuck in ruts when this is you...I know, its been me too.  I do a little of this and maybe a little of that and think I'll just hang out *here* until I figure out what I want to do when I'm really not happy being *here.*  

So how do we fix this?  Well it isn't hard, but that doesn't mean it is a quick fix either.  Find out what you want and make a plan to get there.  Start with what you want, add in the skills requird to do what you want, then look at the training to make yourself competitive.  Sometimes we already possess the skills and we just need a refresher.  Sometimes we don't know the answer to any of the questions above except what we want to do and in those instances, we can talk to people who do what we want to do and have them provide insight, perhaps even mentorship.

I recently heard a quote in a movie that I have found inspiring...

"What would you do today, if you knew you wouldn't fail?  ...........  Now go out and do it."

~K

Before it is Too Late...

In a recent conversation, it was stated that good Project Managers are aware, actively engaged and are forward thinking in the projects they are involved with.  The "not so good" project managers tend to subscribe to the 'auto-magic' school of thought where projects run themselves and they fail or pass completion on the efforts of others.

Shortly after this statement I found myself in a conversation  prompted by the "What's and How's and Who's" that come when communication is missing.  A project, a task or even simple teamwork is only as good as the communication that it is built on.  Talking is not the same as communicating.

Examples of negative impact are easy to find, a project falls apart, a task fails to be completed, a team does not trust one another.  Communication, however works both ways and sometimes its the lack of acknowledgement that can lead to as much destruction as anything else.  Sadly, I've watched the lack of outward acknowledgement break apart teams that worked exceptionally well together and the things that should have been said while they were there only were spoken in their absence.  

Communication is hard, but it is key to what we do and it will make or break the job at hand.