Friday, July 25, 2008

Do you know?

What do you want?

Simple, yet very effective, as far as questions go. Do you have an answer?

I was left to ponder this question, not long ago, after a conversation about my future. I did not have an answer. What did I want?

I want it all.

"Not a good enough answer" I was told. This answer requires focus and more specifics - I did not (do not) have them. The difference between then and now...I know what I want, at least part of what I want and the answer came to me like a light being switched on in the dark.

I run each week. I run 3 days a week and try faithfully to reach my goals when training for my marathon in December. I have always run. Looking back thru my life, I have been running for a very long time. I have never run these distances before, but then again I spent most of that time running FROM something as opposed to running TOWARDS something. I have run so far and so fast that I missed many things along the way.

When I started this process, when I was desperately searching for something, some part of me to cling to, I found running. What I didn't realize until today is that I am running towards something and no longer running away. It takes a lot of dedication, determination and drive to set out to run a marathon. The training and time put into it is work and the reward is personal - very few of us will have a reward other than personal accomplishment.

But for me, while this will be an accomplishment, it will be much more than that. I want to break out of my self imposed limits. The rules I've set that say what I can and cannot do. The labels I've put on myself because this is the mold I want to fit in...this is how I've chosen to define myself. At this moment - the one where I ran 6 miles of hills in the suffocating heat, covered in sweat and sore all over - this moment, I want more than anything else to achieve this goal. Everything it takes to get to the end, seems small in comparison to what will be once I get there, almost as if anything is possible, if I just do this first.

Perhaps this sounds a little halmarkish, but I'm not talking just about running a marathon. Each of us are different, each have different desires and wants and needs. Where is our drive to achieving what it is we want? Have you already found yours - achieved yours?

If the world was an endless possibility - what would you want?


DysFUNctional Mom said...

I want a simple life.
I want to travel.
I don't want riches or luxuries...I simply want enough.

Semi-Charmed Wife said...

I'd like to make a comfortable living writing. I don't need to be rich. I don't need to be famous. But I'd love to work from home as a writer... life dream!

Kim said...

I want life to stop moving so fast.
Esp during the times I cannot control it.

Loved this post Kel.


Kellan said...

Great post, Kel - very good! I have been so lucky in my life to reach many of my goals. I am exactly where I want to be, right now - happy - healthy - great family. I want my life to continue as it is for as long as possible.

Have a good weekend - Kellan

PS - I saw you are starting another blog - good for you! Can't wait to see what it's all about!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I want to worry less and enjoy the blessings I have.

I want to be thinner.

I want my children to grow up to become well-adjusted and successful people.

I wouldn't mind being know...legions of adoring fans...nothing too crazy! :)

Jojo said...

I'm sorry I haven't been visiting, Kel. It's been hectic around here.

I noticed that when I was younger, I wanted bigger things, and MORE of them. But now, what I really want is a simple and happy life. I find that wanting more always leads to more stress. Most people though, and myself, usually WANT most when they learn through life what they don't want.

I'm so proud of you about the marathon. You know it's one of my bucket list goals. I hope I will find myself in that glow of personal achievement one day.