What do you want?
Simple, yet very effective, as far as questions go. Do you have an answer?
I was left to ponder this question, not long ago, after a conversation about my future. I did not have an answer. What did I want?
I want it all.
"Not a good enough answer" I was told. This answer requires focus and more specifics - I did not (do not) have them. The difference between then and now...I know what I want, at least part of what I want and the answer came to me like a light being switched on in the dark.
I run each week. I run 3 days a week and try faithfully to reach my goals when training for my marathon in December. I have always run. Looking back thru my life, I have been running for a very long time. I have never run these distances before, but then again I spent most of that time running FROM something as opposed to running TOWARDS something. I have run so far and so fast that I missed many things along the way.
When I started this process, when I was desperately searching for something, some part of me to cling to, I found running. What I didn't realize until today is that I am running towards something and no longer running away. It takes a lot of dedication, determination and drive to set out to run a marathon. The training and time put into it is work and the reward is personal - very few of us will have a reward other than personal accomplishment.
But for me, while this will be an accomplishment, it will be much more than that. I want to break out of my self imposed limits. The rules I've set that say what I can and cannot do. The labels I've put on myself because this is the mold I want to fit in...this is how I've chosen to define myself. At this moment - the one where I ran 6 miles of hills in the suffocating heat, covered in sweat and sore all over - this moment, I want more than anything else to achieve this goal. Everything it takes to get to the end, seems small in comparison to what will be once I get there, almost as if anything is possible, if I just do this first.
Perhaps this sounds a little halmarkish, but I'm not talking just about running a marathon. Each of us are different, each have different desires and wants and needs. Where is our drive to achieving what it is we want? Have you already found yours - achieved yours?
If the world was an endless possibility - what would you want?