Recently I was reminded that life "isn't fair." No, not by some event affecting my personal life, but by my dear, sweet, 6yr old daughter.
The other night, we all went out to dinner with some friends to celebrate one of their birthdays. All in all, there were 4 boy's and D.Q. (dramaqueen) was the only girl. Typically, this is not a problem, that night however, it was. You see, all the boys were talking and enjoying themselves and then they started sharing secrets and she suddenly believed they were talking about her. In true dramaqueen fashion, she got upset and proceeded to start trouble.
I, as a parent, do not like to be embarrassed in public - actually I HATE to be embarrassed in public by my child who knows much better than to act like a fool in a restaurant. But this did not stop her, she proceeded to be loud and stir the pot so we took a moment to "chat" about it at which time she started to cry...
"Nobody likes me, nobody wants to be my friend, they only want to be my brothers friend ... cry cry cry"
Really, I did feel kind of sorry for her, she was the only girl, but seriously? All this act over just that?
As the evening would have it, she did not completely straighten up so by the end of the night she had lost her bedtime movie, but her brother had not. She was very disturbed by this and could not understand how, if he was being mean to her, why she was being punished and he was not. She understood why she was being punished - but in her mind he needed to be as well. I tried to reason with her - like a good parent, but no, there was no reasoning to be had.
Oh, yes, she understood and accepted her punishment, but wanted him to be too.
So why is life unfair, you ask?
Well the conversation went like this...
DQ - But he needs to lose his movie too, he was mean to me.
Me - Yes, but you are not being punished for being mean, it is for x, y, and z
DQ - I know, but...
Me - Do you think you should be punished each time he does something wrong?
DQ - No, but tonight is his night.
Me - It doesn't work like that.
DQ - Life isn't fair.
Me - Why do you say that?
Oh and here is where she pulls the only card a kid can on a parent to make them feel uber guilty...
DQ - You love him more than me!
Me - Why do you think that?
DQ - Because he is the new kid in the house?
Me - Hum, do you think we love your sister more than you?
DQ - No
Me - She is the new kid in the house, not him - but no honey, we love you all the same.
DQ - Well, he isn't being punished?
Me - No, he's not tonight, but I'm sure tomorrow there will be something ....
As a parent, I think there is amnesia between then and now? I remember thinking life isn't fair because I wasn't "old enough" to do something, but there is SO much I don't remember about being 6 and why life wasn't fair.
I really think somewhere along the way all that information got pushed out to make room for something newer....oh how I wish I had that info back so I could not feel like the uber guilty parent!
What "life's so unfair" thing do you remember about being a child?