Thursday, November 20, 2008
Do you ever get signs? Do you ever ask for a sign? Do you ever fail to see the blaring sign until after you've passed it and look into the rear view mirror only to think "where did that come from?"
I do. All. The. Time.
I am a believer in signs and lately I've been wondering about the ones in my life.
Case and point:
1. I have multiple photo I.D.'s. I have a drivers license, I have a work badge, I have an entrance badge, I have a military dependant I.D. - (three of these give me access to the same place just different buildings) Suffice it to say, I have lots of things with my photo and information on them to verify who I am. I don't use all of these every day - some are just for certain times (going to and from work) and some are with me all the time. The other day I went to grab one of my I.D.'s and it was not in its normal spot in my wallet. I was out of the house and started to panick, but realized there was no need for this (I could just look when I got home) so I calmed myself and when I got home I went rampant searching in every place it could have possibly been.
I did not find it.
I spent a few days retracing my steps and still could not find it. Monday morning came and I had decided to look one more place before I began the process of getting a new ID, resigned to the idea of having lost it when as I'm grabbing my stuff to leave the house that morning, I looked down and there it was. Very near the place it would have been, but yet, in an odd location because it should not have been moved. When this came up in conversation with the hub later in the day, I did not give it a second thought - until he sent me a text asking if perhaps it was a metaphor for something in my life. I immediately called him and asked him what he meant - he responded with "Well, it seems like you've been looking for something for a while now and perhaps this is just a sign that you will find it."
2. Deja Vu. I don't experience this often, but sometimes there are brief moments that seem so clear and yet, I just cannot put my finger on it. I write - alot! I don't always write a lot here and sometimes it is just a jumbled mess, but I write my thoughts, I write my emotions, I write my hurt and my happiness because otherwise, I might just overflow. Recently I was writing some thoughts, working on a post (if I decide to publish it) when suddenly it was like I had already been there...writing. The words came to me, the atmosphere was the same and I knew something happened because of these words - I just didn't know what. I have not published them - not sure what to do with them, but I'm sure when the time is right....
3. I'm a rather bottle it up kind of person - there are things that will bug me, but I'll just keep them to myself until I have enough and then I kind of burst and then I'm ok. This happened not that long ago with a work thing. A situation had been going on for quite a while. I disagreed with it, but did not have a better solution and new there was no reason to complain because it would go unchanged. Instead I became apathetic. I absorbed this situation until eventually a phone call came that set the roller coaster in motion. I was not happy and I tried to let it go, but instead I fumed in silence and when asked 'if I was ok?' I answered honestly - No. I gave my reasons and set out in search for a solution. In the process I spoke to many people involved in the final straw issue and in that process I gained a valuable insight - things were changing and much was up in the air. Blank stares can sure tell you more than you ever wanted to know.
My problem, didn't so much lie in the fact that a situation was in complete chaos and no one cared - but the fact that I let their lack of caring affect me, I became apathetic in the process. It's kind of like standing at a fork in the road - I stood there and waited and didn't choose a path and then when I got run over by a passing car, I got mad because no one told me to move. It was not their fault, but because I didn't have an answer I chose to do nothing. The sign I got that day was I better pick a path and get moving or next time, it might be an SUV instead of a little car that gets me. I had seen the signs, but didn't really 'see' the signs until that day. Now - well, now I have decisions to make.
Perhaps all of these instances are unrelated, but then again I think somehow they are all tied together by a very small thread. Perhaps I failed to see, 1, 2, & 3 and they've all been trying to tell me something important that I'm just now starting to understand.
Do you have a SIGN you wished you would have payed more attention to?