Friday, January 16, 2009

Don't Commit me just yet...

When you least expect it, the unexpected happens and everything changes...

It felt like I was locked in a room (no not a padded one) in which I had nothing but four blank walls and a box of crayons. The door was locked and there were no windows, just a harsh light overhead. Me, being me...I would HATE to be locked in a room, despite the fact that I was given free reign to 'decorate' as I chose (hence the box of crayons and the note saying 'explore your artistic side.')

Instead of following the directions, I decided to twist the nob and yank and pull and push and scream at the top of my lungs - "LET ME OUT!!" The door did not budge. I beat on the walls with my bare hands, I kicked it till my feet hurt and when all else failed, I decided I should also bang my head against the walls(as if it would somehow magically make the difference.) All of it was futile and in the end, when my energy was exhausted, my voice hoarse from the screaming, my tears all run out, I picked up the box of crayons and drew a world full of vibrant colors and life.

Then something happened...

Just like that, the door unlocked and opened just a bit, not so I could run screaming "I AM FREE," but just a crack so that I know I can leave when I am ready. As I reached for the knob, intending to open that door and chew @ss of whom ever locked me in there in the first place, I hesitated...was it really so bad? Being in this place...was it so terrible after all?

I stood and looked around and the lines on the walls told a different story. It wasn't sad and dreary, it wasn't dark and gloomy, it was life. All around me in reds and blues and yellows and greens - life had taken shape and while I'm no Michaelangelo (I am more like a kindergarten kid who still colors outside the lines) I smiled because I had learned that sometimes I have to stop fighting the process and enjoy the creativity of life. Everything comes in stages and while we might not like the one we are currently in, if we look hard enough, we might just find our own 'box of crayons' to color with while we wait.

What are you going to do with YOUR box of crayons this weekend?

6 comments:

mommaof4wife2r said...

i am a little curious, kel, what room you were locked in.

as for me, i'm gonna do a little coloring of the bday party type...then try and finish my book. i know, it seems like that never hapens, but i am going to carve out quiet time!

Kori said...

What an excellent, excellent attitude; needed to hear this today. As for my box of crayons? With hope, I wll use them to color me in some NAPTIME, lol.

Aleta said...

What a beautiful post! I was caught up in the post. I want to see the pictures of the room, type of caught up feeling.

Loved the message, that sometimes we have to explore instead of demand. It's so easy to reach for the door handle and leave instead of staying and finding the magic that's there...

krissy said...

That was a very interesting story.
What a great way to observe life.

I'm gonna be a taxi to my daughter all weekend with birthday parties and such. However, I am seeing the bright side and happy I have a daughter to spend time with.

Heather said...

you are so uplifting. just exactly what i needed to read today. thank you. have a good week, my darling :]

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Well, I accidentally discovered that crayons color on carpet today. Yes, me, all by myself, the kids were not home.
Don't ask!