Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Fallen Hero

A Hero is defined as many things:
-Distinguished courage
-Regarded as a model
-Special characteristics that set them apart from others

My hero was all of this in my eyes. No, they did not have super human powers, they couldn't fly nor did they leap tall buildings in a single bound, in the eyes of a child there was nothing they couldn't do, they were infallible...until now.

Growing up we cling to what is familiar and hold on to the belief that happy endings are more than fairy tales, at least I did. Eventually life happens and we realize pumpkins do not turn in to stage coaches and rarely is our prince going to come whisk us out of our 'maid' quarters and into the palace without judgement. Innocence is lost and we see the light, but heroes...heroes can live beyond any story or tragic ending because they are larger than life.

I'm not sure why I chose this particular hero, perhaps because they were the only 'normal' thing in my life at the time, but I did and because of it my life was forever different. Story book heroes are not real, meaning they influence us from afar because they are a story. Sports, political and other influential people influence our lives by making us want to be better...we don't often time get to interact with them so we try to emulate what we believe them to be.

In my case, this hero was neither. They were very much real and very much someone I knew, because of this 'larger than life' image I believed of them I found myself small and incompetent in their shadow. I have spent my life believing at every turn I would never measure up because I wasn't 'good enough' no matter what I did. I believed this until the day my hero fell...the day they became my equal.

When my hero fell, the hardest part was not accepting they were human, but learning to accept the standard by which I judged myself was flawed. In the same instant the 'bar' came crashing down, I began to understand I too had grown up and was seeing them for the first time as a peer.

The day my hero fell was the day I learned I am good enough.

Do YOU still believe in HEROES?


Anonymous said...

i have a few fallen heroes. it wasn't as easy for me to accept as i had first hoped it would be, and i'm still not on good terms with one.

not because she fell "from grace" but because she continued to tell me that i was wrong for doing the things that i had done.

it wasn't fair. and she quickly went from "my best friend" to "someone i used to know."

it sucks, but it has to be done sometimes. or i would have stayed in the same pattern, with the same people.

mommaof4wife2r said...

i think we all have fallen heroes, but in spite of that, i think i've learned that i can be a hero too...but it's a really hard job. and, it's scary because having kids watch you and wanna be you makes every little thing important.

A Buns Life said...

Sadly, I don't really think that I ever had anyone that I labeled as a hero....I think I always knew that the people in my life were always going to disappoint at one point or another. I always hated it in school when we had to write about "our hero" because I always knew I was lying and making it up to make the teacher happy. How sad is that?