Do you have Faith?
Faith is defined as:
|1.||confidence or trust in a person or thing|
|2.||belief that is not based on proof|
For many it is a belief in God or a Higher Being, I am not getting into the religious debate so for the purpose of this post, I am going to simply leave it at the definitions above.
I have faith. Faith that there is a bigger purpose for me than I am aware, faith that I am not alone in this world, faith that everything has a reason-even if unknown to me. I have always had faith, but I have not always held onto these beliefs as strongly as I do now.
Yesterday, I got the phone call I had known all along would come, the one I was preparing for and yet, secretly hoping I could escape, and you know what? Despite the fact that I had plenty of fair warning-it made my chest tighten up as I sucked in air like someone had just sucker punched me in the gut.
I sat there, listening to the person on the other end with a smile plastered on my face so no one around me would know and spoke with a more "up beat" chirp in my voice than necessary to try and mask my immensely growing fear. Doubtful that I succeeded, but then again perhaps no one knew.
Knowing it is coming does not make it easier.
The day I proclaim to the world that I have decided to seek my "passion," the day I take my stand against the great unknown and just like that, it laughs in my face and brings me right back down to earth, only this time a few inches smaller than I was when I started.
On the surface, everything is clearly defined, explanations and logic fall neatly into place. I could easily tie a pretty bow on this package and put it on the shelf with all the others, but in my heart I know there is something I am meant to understand that is just below the surface, something I can't quite see yet. I've talked about change a few months ago, at which time I had nothing to go on but a feeling. A few months prior to that I asked you all "If you would want to know what lies ahead?" Not because I knew what was ahead, but because I felt something. Even this morning as I sorted thru emails, one small quote at the end of a friends note caught my eye -
"Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk."
So what am I trying to say?
Yesterday sucked, to put it bluntly and for today I'm holding onto faith that there is a bigger picture, that I cannot see or understand yet, but there is something in store much greater than the fear I currently harbor. Fear is my greatest weakness and I am doing my damndest to over come this right now, not really sure how, but knowing that while things could be so much worse, this is not a problem I am facing so much as an opportunity waiting to be seized.
Have you seized your opportunity today?