Thursday, January 29, 2009

Helpless

I feel SMALL.

I feel VERY tiny.

I feel HELPLESS.

POWERLESS to do anything to get results.

I'm stuck between wanting to put on my tall 'Mom Boots,' step all in their crap and demand answers until I get what I want (even though I am NOT their mother)

&

Wanting to be patient, understanding, be their 'friend' and just wait until the time comes when I am needed.

I feel LOST.

I feel like I'm waiting for the phone to ring (as soon as I let my guard down) and someone is going to tell me "I'm sorry to tell you this, but..."

I fear this the MOST.

Even though I know this happens, it is life - we are born and we die - I am not ready to lose someone close to me and yet, I cannot get it out of my head.

When asked, "Do you think they would give up?" I am mostly afraid - they already have.

Don't let today pass you by...

14 comments:

mommaof4wife2r said...

good advice...and that's something i learned a long time ago. my little bro died when i was 5 and my mom has always said that you never know if you have tomorrow so live today to the fullest. i try...and sometimes it's hard bc of life.

your fear...that's totaly normal...and this whole "loss" and daeth thing is scary, even to the most devoted, bc it's not the way things should be. god didn't want this for us. but it happens...sad.

tootie said...

Oh no! I hope that things get better for this person. I will say a prayer!

jupitersinclair said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this *hugs*

April said...

After my father died six months after being diagnosed with cancer, I vowed to ALWAYS try to live my life to the fullest. Each and every day. Some days are harder than others, when LIFE gets in the way, but I just think of my Dad (and how he had planned to REALLY ENJOY life with my mom after he retired...but he died at 51 and never got that chance after working like a fiend all his life) or look at his picture and I am reminded of why life is so precious.

I hope this person realizes how precious his or her life really is.

Sorry you are going through a rough time.

A Buns Life said...

Hang in there....hugs to you.

the cubicle's backporch said...

I agree that that's very good advice.

I always try to apply that to our pets (I know, kinda dumb) b/c you never know when they'll go either, so even if I'm tired or don't feel like it, I try to take them for walks and what not.

Thanks for the reminder.

auntie said...

thinking about ya...

Kori said...

Kel, I don't know what to say, I rally don't. Because sometimes they DO give up, and that.freaking.bites. Thinking of you. LOTS.

Heather said...

it's hard. i hate feeling helpless, and i have felt it quite a few times. but your message is true-- live each day.

xo

Aleta said...

The waiting, that lost feeling, where we don't have the control. It's hard... the best you can do is lean on your friends and pray. We're praying with you. *HUGS*

skiplovey said...

Hugs to you. Being on the waiting side is so hard. You're not helpless though, you are being patient and doing all that you can.
Hope things get better.

OHmommy said...

Oh gosh, Kel. What is going on. Saying many prayers. And sending you hugs.

Kellan said...

A powerful post, Kel - I hope everything is okay. Take care - Kellan

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

hugs and prayers