I woke up Wednesday morning, just like I do every Wednesday morning and proceeded to go thru my morning ritual to get ready for work. I check on my girls after my shower, finish getting dressed, lay out their clothes, fix their lunches and just before I head out the door, little Miss cries and I know she's awake.
I look at the clock and think, I really need to leave to stay on schedule, but instead I sigh and head back down the hall, pick her up, change her diaper and dress her for the day. I kiss her on the head a few minutes later, only slightly behind my self imposed schedule and head off for another day at work...just another usual day at work.
It was anything but a usual day.
From my first glance at my reader, I noticed a theme among the words staring back at me. Each combination more somber than the previous, each word trying so desperately to convey that sense of support but knowing that words would not do justice to the situation it was surrounding. Today, a member of our community lost her daughter and the pain flooded our lives like a piece of Maddie had been ripped from each of us. I read the words, each.and.every.story that flashed that beautiful little girls smile and zest for life, and the more I read the more my heart broke, the more my eyes flooded and the harder it became to breath. So I stopped. I stopped reading, I stopped looking, I just stopped because the more I saw the more I hurt for the mother who no longer had her baby to hold, to kiss, to tell how much she loved her.
In the short span of this day, I went from frustrated I was running late to wanting only to hug my children and say thank you for that extra moment I had with them. As a mother, I could not imagine what Heather is going thru, but I know that I would not wish that on anyone. In the short span of today, I suddenly felt very small for wishing I didn't have to deal with some of my 'mom' duties. In the short span of today, I got a swift reminder just how short and unpredictable life can be and how much there is to not take forgranted.
My heart goes out to the Spohr family.
***In lieu of flower the family asks that you make a donation in Madeline's honor to the March of Dimes.