Saturday, March 17, 2012

Hope SPRINGS Etermal

It's spring fever.... You don't quite know what it is you DO want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so! Mark Twain

A beautiful Saturday morning with the sun breaking just across the horizon and I sit here ready to face the day.  Its an odd change for me, so many mornings this past week have found me restless and tired, struggling to move with the work day chimes "time to get up."  So much has been going on, so much as been in motion for so long that I'm not sure I can remember life outside of this carousel ride.  There are so many things that I have wanted to write over the past few days, weeks but when I sit down my brain is not ready yet, today, it is very much ready, able and willing ...

The last I wrote I was faced with a new opportunity in the journey of my career.  Fear of the unknown, fear of failure and fear of leaving my comfort zone plagued me daily, but the little seed of hope found a little water and a little sunshine and broke through all the dirt trying to hide it.  Like the little flowers that I nurture each day, slowly sprouting forth, opening their leaves searching for their moment in the am I.

I am a loyalist by heart, but I do not do well when I have been screwed back stabbed belittled embarrassed wronged.  Yes, I am that person who understands the political games in the corporate environment and can 'play nice with others,' but will never forget (and rarely trust) a persons motives after that point.  The biggest hurdle for me recently (despite what fears I mentioned earlier) was leaving the TEAM I have called mine for the last few years.  There is something about thinking what I am leaving behind will struggle that had me making commitments to help them this week and last.

I have juggled, struggled and walked a tight rope between then and now with my efforts only half focused on whats in front of me instead of what is behind me.  I would like to say I succeeded, but the reality is I just SURVIVED...barely.  By the time it was over tempers had flared and demands were made that I said I would complete. Now....I am done and fully able to turn my attention to the SPRING that is all around me.  Not just outdoors, where I sit and wonder when the green began covering all the branches outside my window, but also inside me where I can embrace all the beauty that comes from traveling a new path.

It won't always be sunny and there will be pot holes in the road, but when we open our eyes and our hearts to the world around us, embrace the opportunities for all they are, we grow as people.  What better time to grow then right now...spring!

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