Thursday, September 25, 2008
A change is coming...
Do you ever wonder if people are really your friend?
I have these days, where I feel like my friends are not really my friends at all - more like I'm in a fish bowl and they are all staring at me thru the glass. It's like I can see them but yet I can't really hear them and if I move one way or another it distorts them into funny shapes. I guess I feel kind of like everyone is watching me, waiting for me to goof up.
I've had many friends lately that I just can't read. We get together and one minute things seem great and then it seems like I've offended them and then the next life is great again. I've had long time friends seem to drift away and all I can do is wonder what caused this drift?
Truth be told, I am at this point in my life where I have way more questions than answers. There was a brief time a while back, I was seeking the answers to these questions and thought, maybe I'd found them. (That is a post for another time) Did it provide answers - not really, perhaps some clarifications on my part, but no real concrete answers.
Something is changing...it's in the air, I feel it in my bones. I don't know what it is, but I sense it all around and while part of me is excited at the prospect, part of me is scared of letting go. I'm not even sure what I'm letting go of yet, but I know I'm not ready to give it up.
I know this all sounds strange and cryptic - it's just how I feel.
Have you ever had a gut feeling? Was it right or was it wrong?