Back to Basics

When I started blogging 4 years ago, that home was my outlet. I didn't do it for comments. I didn't do it for visitors, I didn't pay attention to site hits. I didn't publicize to my friends and family what I did and I did not give the world proof that it was Me and not just someone who resembled me.

What I did however was speak honestly and from the heart. I talked about what bothered me and while I didn't name drop, everything I wrote then was real and raw. That site is now closed.

A year ago, I decided to move homes and thus began CafeKel, my home where no longer was I struggling with fear of what the future was going to hold, but instead I decided to publicly 'find' myself. Accepting the past for what is was and deciding to go forward and change the things about me I didn't like and improve the things about me that I did like.

I started reading the 'big' name bloggers, I started looking at hit counts and visitors and I wanted comments. Seriously, how else am I supposed to improve me without outside input? All the things "Blogger Success" internet searches brought up became my mantra. Random erratic posting stopped. I ventured outside my comfort zone and began commenting. I put a face to my name and I told friends and family.

In the beginning, I still wrote what I thought, with more structure and more thought, but as more people found out what I did the more I wrote words that were not published. The more my statistics showed my neighbors visiting the more I ventured from 'raw' me into comical anticdotes my children provided. Don't get me wrong, everything I wrote was me, but sometimes it was a bland, diluted version of me.

Even with the less 'in your face' kind of posts, I managed to find my words thrown in my face from someone I had let get close and it hurt. Everything going forward became calculated and MY voice became muted where the things I said were merely actions in a play unfolding around me, until I found myself viewing the daily task of posting as merely an unrewarding chore. I questioned why I did this, who really cared if I did it or not and if perhaps, with life taking the turns it has, if my family wouldn't be better off if I stopped.

In the end....

I enjoy writing. I enjoy the friendships I've made. I look forward to the give and take, the difference of opinions and the amazing, unconditional human spirit I've seen unfold when 'one of us' is in need.

What I don't like is how much I've let myself be silenced for fear of how it would be used against me in the future. Fear - letting myself be dictated by it ... again. Fear - letting it take away the pleasure in the little things.

So....Something's gotta give. I'm making some changes and while I would never intentionally want to hurt someone, sensoring myself out of 'fear' is not where I want to go with this blog....its time to get back to my roots.

Monday Madness - Blogging

In the world of social Media, Blogging, Twittering, Facebook(ing), Plurk(ing), Stumbl(ing) are what we do. These are great things ... for those of us who do it, however if you are still living in a cave and are not sure what it is all about, then talking to an 'addict' can be a bit strange.

Here's why:

1. You know what the word "FODDER" means and can correctly use it in a sentence, more than once a day. (as in blog fodder)

2. Activities in your house are determined based on 'blog-worthiness.'

3. When having a conversation with a non-blogger, you ask them if you can use 'their story' because it would be REALLY FUNNY.

4. You now speak in 140 character (or less) sentences.

5. You inadvertently find yourself using "Txt speak" when writing non-text related items (and your not 16). "OMG-LOL-Srsly?-Oh Mah Holy Hell..."

6.You look at your husband and say with all seriousness "The Elf Restroom was funny, but I've already used that one...can you come up with something original AND funny... I need something new for NEXT WEEK!"

7. Your kids have no idea just how much blackmail you are going to have on them when they are 16.

8. You compose blogs and tweets in your sleep.

9. You find yourself checking your crackberry/iPhone/Computer every time you pass it to see if there has been any new updates in the last 5 minutes.

10. You've never met them, but you feel like you know your 'friends' better than some of your 'in real life' friends.

If you can answer yes to more than 2 of the above, you might just be addicted to Social Media. (I am)

Are you an addict?

Social Media Introvert?

Would you classify yourself as an introvert or an extrovert?

Introvert
a shy person

Extrovert
an outgoing, gregarious person.

Fundamentally a rather simple question, however not always such an easy answer because many times we can exhibit qualities of both. Personally I would classify myself as an introvert, however if you ask anyone who knows me I am a talker. I mean, I literally talk ALL THE TIME and will typically talk to most anyone. I blog, I twitter, I run the gamut on most social networking sites but even then, I lurk in the shadows until someone or something draws me out of my comfort zone (or perhaps I've had a few cocktails.)

I logged into twitter this morning, like I always do, to find a tweet linking back to a BlogHer post by Maria Niles "Social Media is for Introverts." I immediately read the article nodding my head in agreement with so many of her points.

Introverts conjure up images of anti-social hermits. Yet some of the biggest users of social media consider themselves introverts.

Could this really be? Are we lurking behind the screen in the comfort of our own settings giving even the biggest extrovert a run for his socializing money? I think so.

In a post prompted once again by a twitter discussion Pete Cashmore writes:

Perhaps social media affords us the control we lack in real life socializing: the screen as a barrier between us and the world.

This prompted me to think, perhaps my own want to be involved but to feel in somewhat control has left me following the introverted path in life and explains why in a social setting I am usually standing in the crowd, thoughts swirling with things to say yet feeling utterly invisible to the world. It would possibly also explain why the hub and I are so compatible...he is the extrovert to my introvert.

No, he is not so much for online interaction, but give him a crowd and the spotlight appears. I on the other hand, excel at behind the screen communications and typically shy away from first IRL meetings. Give me a few of these in person communications and then I am usually ok...its breaking that barrier that I struggle with the most.

Perhaps that is the irony in all of this - Social Media and Social Networking is about the communication between people, clients and businesses and yet it's socializing on a whole new level. Technology has provided a link to the masses that affords all of us (introverts and extroverts alike) a rather level playing field. I can meet and chat with people I might never have the courage to speak to face to face as well as share thoughts and discussions with people I might never have had the chance to meet who are just as introverted as myself.

Are you an introvert or extrovert and do you think social media challenges the traditional view of these roles?