Continuing with the Body Image theme I thought I would take today to highlight another brave woman who is calling it like she sees it. **don't worry I'm clothed!** hehe
I became aware of Suzanne and her campaign for the 2008 Swimsuit Brigade (2 years running) shortly after I accepted the sexy challenge. "What a honest, self empowering, contradiction to what we see each and every day" I thought, but I would never do that. I, like most women out there, dread the summer months. No, not because it is hot - I actually look forward to the heat, longer days, the ability to play out doors and the variety of activities that become available for me and the family during this time of year. Unfortunately, as much as I enjoy the outdoors and swimming...I hate wearing a swimsuit. Once again, the battle scars that reflect the life (and love) I've had, make me want to hide myself in the shadows of a clothed body.
Yes, despite my last post (or any other previous information put out here) I am very self conscious of my body in a bathing suit. I can say that a lot of this self loathing for the way I looked started years ago with my first failing marriage. I hate to admit it (because I like to think I am mentally stronger than this) but I let this person mentally abuse me and belittle me and learned to hate my body because it was not the "perfect" size, it was not tight or toned or curvy or voluptuous or any of the other 'wants' he desired at that time. I have since come to terms that I will not be "perfect" however these things still lurk in the back of my mind. So in reality, while I can pose 'seductively' I do not feel as exposed as I do in a mere bathing suit.
Sad..I know. Hypocritical..possibly.
This is not to say that I don't believe this should be ignored or over looked just because I'm "shy." There are many of us out here who, for whatever reason (media, past experience etc.) believe we should be ashamed and cover up ourselves.
So today I am casting off my bathing suit cover up and joining the 2008 Swimsuit Brigade.